North Korea

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Issue 4803

Jan. 23

Quilting for Teens: Please come back, Dana! You're the only person who ever came, and I miss you!

Where Are They Now?

ABC 10 p.m. EST/9 p.m. CST This week's episode follows up with our contestants from last week, whom we've checked in with once a week since the show began.

Area Man Relieved Friend's Short Story Sucks

BOSTON—After reading the final draft Saturday morning, local man Chris Peters, 27, was relieved to discover the short story written by his friend Mark Carter, 26, was absolutely terrible.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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North Korea

"Approximately 30,000 children leapt through the air with shiny metallic streamers, while the coordinated undulations of T-shirted adults simulated a giant North Korean flag fluttering in the wind. In other words, as of late, we've seen nothing out of the ordinary here." - State Department foreign policy analyst William T. Baker

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