Blood-Drenched, Berserk CEO Demands More Web Videos

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Issue 4828

Captain Actual America Overweight, Hopelessly In Debt

Comic Con is once again marred by the increasingly popular Bully-Con, a weird glitch causes 'The Amazing Spider-Man' to reboot in the middle of the movie, and the 'Richie Rich' comic strip introduces a new, even gayer character.

Daniel Tosh Chuckles Through Own Violent Rape

'You Just Gotta Laugh,' Reports Comedian Through Blood And Tears

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Embroiled in controversy following comments he made during a recent performance at the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles, comedian Daniel Tosh chuckled this afternoon while being violently raped by a group of men in a Hollywood alley.

'Dark Knight Rises' Opts For Lighthearted, Cartoonish Tone

'It's Fun, Like A Comic Book,' Says Christopher Nolan

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Stating that "the time has come for a tonal shift" in the blockbuster series, director Christopher Nolan announced Thursday that the forthcoming Batman film The Dark Knight Rises would take a lighter, more humorous ton...

Romney Receives 20-Minute Standing Ovation At NAAWP Event

HOUSTON—During an address Wednesday to the National Association for the Advancement of White People, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney received a lengthy standing ovation from the group of 2,000 Caucasians who had gathered to hear him sp...

Obama Pledges To Repeal Health Care Law If Reelected

WASHINGTON—Calling it a "poorly conceived and irresponsible piece of legislation, pure and simple," President Obama made a public pledge to voters Tuesday that, if reelected, he would fight to repeal the recently upheld Patient Protection ...

Your Horoscopes - Week Of July 10, 2012

Aries While it's true you'll never really understand, accept, or tolerate homosexuality, it's admirable that it hasn't stopped you from having sex with people of your gender. Taurus The places in the sand where your foot...

Dr. J

This week's Strongside/Weakside Classic explores the wonder that was Julius Erving.
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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.

Blood-Drenched, Berserk CEO Demands More Web Videos

Employees at arts and entertainment website confirmed that CEO Jeff Potkul became drenched in blood, violently demanding staff members to create more web videos.