Issue 4832

Drought Ravages U.S.

Infographic ISSUE 48•32 Aug 8, 2012
With the worst drought in half a century devastating the central and southern United States, the Agriculture Department has designated more than half the nation ...

Phelps Drowns

Sports News ISSUE 48•32 Aug 4, 2012
LONDON—American swimmer Michael Phelps, who earned 21 medals and became the most decorated Olympian of all time, drowned Saturday while competing in the last ...

Kill Spot

Corrections ISSUE 48•32 Aug 11, 2012
In Tuesday's article on self-defense, The Onion incorrectly reported the location of the "kill spot." It is actually 3 inches to the left, and ...

Cain Train

Quote ISSUE 48•32 Aug 10, 2012
"You better get your tickets ready, because it's time to ride the Cain train again." – Herman Cain