The Bird Sniffer

Top Headlines

Issue 4838

Area Mom Was Waiting In The Car For 20 Minutes

Great, Now She’ll Be Late

LEXINGTON, MA—According to sources within the car-pool lane at Lexington High School, your mom has been waiting for you in the car for over 20 minutes, and now she’s going to be late, which is just great.

That Chair Over There

No one’s using it at the moment. Go ahead, take a seat. You can always get up if someone comes back.

Drunk Women Find Their Run Across Busy Street Hilarious

HOUSTON—An intoxicated cross-intersection run was found uproariously funny Saturday night when the drunken staff of the Clips ’N’ Curls hair salon engaged in a disorganized and evidently humorous trek past the intersection of Main Street...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Area Man

This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

The Bird Sniffer

PBS

8:00 p.m. EDT/7:00 p.m. CDT

Ornithologist and acclaimed odor-describer Dr. Charles Wemple attempts to get a rare whiff of a freshly hatched ivory-billed woodpecker before the mother pecks the bejeezus out of his face.