DAVENPORT, IA—Continually claiming that he’s “not up for stuff like that right now,” local resident Andrew Hughes, 27, is apparently never in the mood to take part in things he’s never done before, family and friends confirme...
LOS ANGELES—The mood in the Los Angeles Lakers’ locker room was upbeat this morning as players were reportedly enthusiastic about new head coach Mike D’Antoni’s policy of never forcing them to play any defense whatsoever.
NEW YORK—Claiming that it’s “been going downhill for a while now,” lifelong Sesame Street viewer Brayden Granger, 5, told reporters Friday that he believes the popular children’s show has sucked since 2010.
LOS ANGELES—During a press junket for Breaking Dawn Part 2 Friday, actor Robert Pattinson told reporters that with The Twilight Saga now behind him, he is eager to branch out into different, more serious vampire roles.
GRAND PRAIRIE, TX—Following Friday’s announcement that Hostess Brands was shuttering its facilities and ceasing operations, laid-off employee Howard Brock told reporters he was now in the difficult position of finding creme-injection work with...
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox
8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC
Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!
GOLDEN, CO—Saying he couldn’t even begin to consider options before him without performing the gesture, friends of local man Aaron Givens told reporters Thursday that he is entirely incapable of making any plans without excitedly rubbing his palms together.
JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.