The Week In Pictures – Week Of July 15, 2013

In This Section

Issue 4928

Study: Diet Soda Doesn’t Aid Weight Loss

A recent study by Purdue University has found that, contrary to popular thinking, drinking diet soda doesn’t aid in weight loss, and that its consumption can actually increase the likelihood of obesity and development of precursors to diabetes, card...

The Onion's Tips For Treating A Sunburn

Find cool, secluded aisle at Walgreens and generously slather on any of the wide variety of moisturizers available on the shelves Place body in cool, dark hole under 5 to 6 feet of dirt For true pain relief, morphine is really the only way to go, or obvi...

Microsoft Announces Major Company Overhaul

In a bid to compete more fiercely with competitors like Apple, Google, and Amazon, Microsoft on Thursday announced a sweeping reorganization, which officials say will help the company react more quickly to changing technology and speed up development of p...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

The Week In Pictures – Week Of July 15, 2013

Facebook: ‘We Will Make Our Product Worse, You Will Be Upset, And Then You Will Live With It’
Read Full Article
FAA Advises Asiana Airlines Pilot To Get Back Out There After Crash
Read Full Article
Despite Armie Hammer Profile In ‘Good Housekeeping’ Magazine, ‘Lone Ranger’ A Flop At Box Office
Read Full Article
Area Man Loses All Control Of Face While Thinking
Read Full Article
Zoo Visitors Watch Mating Rituals Of Ice Cream Shop Staff
Read Full Article
Andy Murray Claims It's Kind Of Pathetic Britain Taking So Much Pride In His Win At A Tennis Tournament
Read Full Article
Jay-Z CEO Resigns After Stock Price Plunges
Read Full Article
Aaron Hernandez Having Great Time In Prison Catching Up With Former Gators Teammates
Read Full Article
10 SIZZLING HOT Sex Tips
Read Full Article
Pregnant Wife Has No Idea Which Jonas Brother She Married
Read Full Article
Report: Nation Thinking About Big, Warm Piece Of Cinnamon Coffee Cake Right Now
Read Full Article
Red Roof Inn Announces New Suicidal Suite
Read Full Article
Egyptians Concerned About Direction Government Is Toppling In
Read Full Article
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More