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Issue 4935

The Case For And Against Intervening In Syria

While the Obama administration has been considering an armed intervention in Syria following the gassing deaths of hundreds of Syrian civilians, a vocal movement in Congress and among the general public has emerged in opposition of any U.S.

Courtroom Artist Clearly Infatuated With Bailiff

The Syria conflict intensifies as bears enter the war, a report shows that millions of courageous Americans are overcoming the media pressure to be thin, and the nation’s single men announce a plan to change their bedsheets by 2019.

Bricks Goddamned Everywhere, Reports Psychotic Study

PHILADELPHIA—A psychotic study authored by deranged researchers at the University of Pennsylvania confirmed Thursday that “the bricks…the bricks are goddamned everywhere.” Written in a reported four days, the 20,000-page document ...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fatherhood

  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Tough Season - Preview

Tough Season returns with a gritty, hard-hitting look inside the fantasy football locker room of Brad’s Awesome Team.