COVINGTON, KY—Expressing a deep sense of regret regarding his decision to take a chance on jalapeño, local 36-year-old Mike Willhite told reporters Wednesday that he now sees all too clearly his folly in straying from his beloved sour cream a...
ORLANDO, FL—Saying that the offer includes all-you-can-eat portions of customers’ favorite krill entrées, casual dining chain Red Lobster announced this week the return of its popular Krill Fest seasonal promotion.
BEND, OR—Verifying that the size of the field is about right for a five-on-five game, reports out of Hillside Park confirmed Wednesday that the end zones are the two big trees and the edge of the parking lot.
LAKE WINNIPESAUKEE, NH—As she entered her third day vacationing with the family of friend and classmate Jessica Matthieson, 15-year-old Kayla Phelps confided to reporters Tuesday that cracks had begun to emerge in the facade of domestic harmony that...
WASHINGTON—Explaining that he failed to hit his national growth goals for the April-June period, the White House’s Office of Personnel Management confirmed Tuesday that President Barack Obama fell just short of earning a quarterly performance ...
COLONIE, NY—Ensuring that her latest selections included a variety of sizes and styles, local mother Melissa Garlington ferried four more shirt options back to her 14-year-old son waiting in a local Gap dressing room this weekend, sources confirmed.
COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA—Preferring not to dictate the specifics of his social exclusion, progressive local parents Brad and Monica Tull are letting their son Josh choose his own method of being loathed and mocked by his peers, the couple reported Monday.
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL—Responding to ongoing protests over perceived corruption and irresponsibility within the government, Brazilian president Dilma Rousseff announced Monday that any profits from hosting the 2014 World Cup will be invested in desp...
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Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!
PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.
CHICAGO—Seeking to maximize the potential reach of their latest post, sources confirmed Thursday that the editors of news website The Daily Blotter managed to force the word “millennials”into the article’s headline in order to boost pageviews.
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