Recent News

‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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The Trump Documents

Stephen Bannon

White House Chief Strategist

The documents below are part of a trove of classified files provided to The Onion by an anonymous whistleblower in the White House. All of these documents can be found here.

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Steve Bannon Discusses Roadkill With Interior Secretary

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Steve Bannon Discusses Spoiled Meat With White House Kitchen

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White House Workers Discover Dead Animals, Sewage In Bannon's Office

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First Draft Of Speech By Steve Bannon And Stephen Miller

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Secret Recording: Steve Bannon Eating Lunch

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Executive Order Allowing Steve Bannon To Execute The President

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White House Physician Warns Of Infectious Disease Outbreak

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Steve Bannon's Daily Schedule

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