Life Begins At Conception vs. Life Begins At 40!

In This Section

Vol 35 Issue 46

Eyes Removed In Violent Yearbook Attack

EVANSVILLE, IN—An unidentified eraser-wielding vandal rubbed out the eyes of graduating senior Paulette Conreid in Erika Franklin's personal copy of "Transitions," the 1999 Evansville West High School yearbook, EWHS sources reported Monday. "I am so totally bumming," Franklin said. "Who would do something like that to Paulette? She's, like, the biggest sweetie I know." The primary suspect in the attack is Jenny Logan, who, as everyone in school knows, has a huge crush on Jeff Lowe, Conreid's boyfriend.

Broncos, Jaguars Helmets Sustain Severe Damage In Monday Night Football Helmet Collision

JACKSONVILLE, FL—A pair of NFL helmets were severely damaged Monday in an explosive head-on collision during a broadcast of ABC's Monday Night Football. "We are still reconstructing the incident, searching for any clue as to what could have gone wrong," Monday Night Football play-by-play announcer Al Michaels said of the catastrophe, which occurred minutes before kickoff and was seen live by an estimated 17 million television viewers. "The helmets were securely chained to their respective space-platforms by four safety tethers, and there was no reason to suspect they would be able to break free." Witnesses said the chained helmets, which directly faced each other on their platforms, seemed increasingly angry and agitated in the moments leading up to the disaster.

Buchanan Reveals Thousands Of Americans Made In China

TOPEKA, KS—During a speech Monday before members of the Topeka VFW Hall, a concerned Pat Buchanan said that "hundreds of thousands" of U.S. citizens were made in Communist China. "These shoddy, Asian-looking, 'knock-off' Americans are the mass-produced product of non-union, low-wage parents," the Reform Party presidential hopeful told VFW members. "Every day, these knock-offs are exported from China to our shores, where they are free to intermingle with real, made-in-the-U.S.A. Americans." Buchanan added that if he wins the presidency, he would impose stiff tariffs against U.S.-citizen-producing nations and return all bootleg Americans to their nation of origin.

The Mars Polar Lander

On Dec. 7, NASA mysteriously lost all contact with the $165 million Mars Polar Lander. Among the leading theories as to what went wrong:

I Think I'm Such Hot Shit

Boy, what is up with me? I strut around like I'm God's gift to the world or something. I think I'm so fascinating, I'm convinced everybody's just dying to listen to me ramble on about myself for hours on end. It's getting more obvious to me every day: I think I'm such hot shit!

Man Of The Millennium: Death

[image:29982]As humanity moves into the dawn of a new and uncertain future, we look back upon our collective past. In the annals of history, many have achieved greatness, yet one individual towers above all others as the most significant single force of the last thousand years. Whether in war or peace, feast or famine, prosperity or economic ruin, the Man Of The Millennium has touched all our lives. No one has had a greater, more permanent impact on our shared human condition.

Y2K Survival Tips

With the new millennium nearly upon us, here are some handy tips to help prepare you for what may lie ahead:
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Innovation

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Life Begins At Conception vs. Life Begins At 40!

Life Begins At Conception

Life begins at the moment of conception. To say otherwise is not only to deny the word of God, but to defy science. An abortion takes the life of a living person, whether the procedure occurs in the first week of pregnancy or the last.

Some say abortion merely destroys the "potential" for life. Yet there is no point during the entire nine-month gestation period when the developing fetus is fundamentally different from the child that is ultimately born. A child in the embryonic stage may not have the physical appearance of a newborn baby, but the genetic material that will determine that child's sex, hair color and eye color is present from the time he or she is what a pro-abortion advocate would rather you look at as "a mass of undifferentiated cells."

Medical research shows that a baby's heart begins beating by Day 25, and electroencephalographic evidence demonstrates that a baby's brain is already functioning by the end of the sixth week. Still, neither of these checkpoints in early fetal development acceptably mark the beginning of life, for they are just points along a continuum of development--a continuum that starts the moment the egg is fertilized.

So how can the government dictate at what point an abortion can be performed? How can anyone say that at 24 weeks and 6 days, a child is not a viable human being, but at 25 weeks it is? The answer is simple: It's a human being from the start!

An unborn child is not part of a woman's body. It is a separate being, albeit one that depends on his or her mother for protection. Is there anyone who would argue that a mother cannot be held accountable for the life and death of an infant in her care? By the same token, a mother should be held responsible for the life of a child from the point of conception--the point at which life begins.

Life Begins At 40!

I'm sorry, but I must strongly disagree with Ms. Brewster. Life begins at 40!

For anyone out there about to turn the big four-oh and dreading it, let me assure you: I myself just hit the milestone earlier this year and, like a bottle of fine wine, I'm only getting better with age. As far as I'm concerned, 40 is when life really begins!

The truth is, you're only as old as you feel. And I've never felt better. Sure, gravity may be starting to kick in here and there, and the boobs may be a bit lower than back when I was in college, but I can still turn heads when I want to. And besides, I more than make up for it in wisdom and life experience! Oh, the things I know now that I didn't when I was younger! And more importantly, I know what I want, and I'm not afraid to get it.

And heck, I'm in some pretty good company. Among the beautiful ladies to turn 40 recently are Madonna, Sharon Stone, Jamie Lee Curtis and Michelle Pfeiffer. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't think any of these fabulously sexy women are retiring to the old folks' home, sitting in a rocking chair and knitting. Don't turn in your cards at middle age... The game has just begun to get interesting!

Okay, so I'm no spring chicken anymore. But I'm certainly no old hen, either! There's nothing holding me back from enjoying the best years of my life. I've paid my dues, and now it's time to sit back and enjoy the benefits. The mortgage is paid off, and within the next five years, the kids will have all moved out. For the first time in years, I'm free! My husband Chuck and I have the resources to float down the river of life with smiles on our faces.

As far as I'm concerned, it's only halftime, and as you know, the final two quarters of the game are always the most exciting!

So if you're nearing 40 and not looking forward to it, hear me out: A woman over 40 can do anything a younger woman can, only better! The way I see it, I'm twice as smart as I was when I was 20... and I've got a much higher credit limit! I am 40, hear me roar!

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More