adBlockCheck

Maple Syrup Is An Excellent Way To Enhance The Flavor Of Pancakes And Waffles vs. I Thought We Were Going To Talk About The Proliferation Of Nuclear Weapons

Top Headlines

Recent News

Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Maple Syrup Is An Excellent Way To Enhance The Flavor Of Pancakes And Waffles vs. I Thought We Were Going To Talk About The Proliferation Of Nuclear Weapons

Maple Syrup Is An Excellent Way To Enhance The Flavor Of Pancakes And Waffles

If there's one thing that almost anyone can agree on, it's that a good, thick maple syrup makes a great addition to any pancake or waffle breakfast.

The experience of poking holes in a steaming hot pancake with your fork and watching the syrup sink slowly in and soak the inner layer is very enjoyable—not to mention how great it tastes.

Another thing I love about maple syrup is the way it fills up the little square receptacles in a waffle and then overflows onto the plate as you keep pouring. Just thinking about it makes me want to go get some waffles and syrup and enjoy them right now.

The combination of syrup and melting butter is delicious as well.

To be sure, maple syrup isn't the only way to add flavor to waffles or pancakes. Have you ever tried them with whipped cream and fruit? Or how about some nice cinnamon and powdered sugar? Those are clearly also delicious. But at the end of the day, maple syrup really is the best of all.

In conclusion, maple syrup, when combined with the flavor and texture of waffles and pancakes, is a real winner, hands down, every time.

Let's hear it for good old maple syrup!

I Thought We Were Going To Talk About The Proliferation Of Nuclear Weapons

Um…wow.

I'll be honest, I'm not really sure how to proceed here. See, I was led to believe we'd be talking about the proliferation of nuclear weapons? In an uncertain age? Frankly, all of the notes and research I prepared pretty much dealt exclusively with that topic, so this whole syrup thing is a little...confusing.

Okay, well, I guess I'll just say that nuclear proliferation in this age of terrorism is a problem we all share. The changing face of warfare has forever altered how we approach diplomatic relations, and it raises urgent questions about the relationship between man and technology. So, yeah. There's that.

Maple syrup, huh? Gosh. Okay.

Let's see. Um, furthermore, the emergence of rogue states only complicates the issue more, as the possibility of a less-developed and more politically radicalized enemy procuring a nuclear arsenal poses a very serious threat to….

Who did you talk to at the paper, by the way? Was it Karen? Because I definitely got an e-mail from her saying we'd be writing about nuclear weapons proliferation. I am almost completely sure that was the topic she mentioned.

This is the first I've heard of anything about waffles or breakfast or anything like that.

I suppose I could try to take a devil's advocate position and debate your thesis, but I'm not really sure there's even an argument here. I mean, clearly, waffles and maple syrup are a classic combination. Just for the sake of this exercise, I could perhaps point out that maple syrup can be a bit sticky, and that's a minor disadvantage, especially when it drips into one's beard. But that would really just be argument for argument's sake. The fact is, I happen to like waffles and syrup as much as the next guy, so trying to debate you seems kind of pointless.

Anyway, in conclusion, nuclear proliferation is a major threat that has placed all our previously held beliefs about military strategy in doubt, and also, in addition, pancakes and waffles are delicious with maple syrup. I don't know. As I said, I can't argue with you on that, so….

I guess you win this one.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close