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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

Reservoir Dogs Is The Best Movie Ever vs. Reservoir Dogs Is Fucking Awesome

Reservoir Dogs Is The Best Movie Ever

Let me tell you this: Reservoir Dogs is the best movie ever! It's everything a good movie should be. You got great characters, awesome dialogue and tons of unbelievable action. Quentin Tarantino is a god.

If I think about all the movies I've seen, and I've seen a lot, I can't think of anything that even comes close. Sure, Star Wars, Blade Runner and A Clockwork Orange are all pretty cool. They're all great actually. But Reservoir Dogs blows them away. Why? Because it's just so fucking cool.

I've got this awesome six-foot-tall poster of it in my dorm room. It shows that part where they're all walking in slow motion.

I love how it's told in this totally messed-up order. It starts after the crime is over and then goes backwards. It's constantly jumping back and forth between flashback and present. The way they introduce each character is by flashing back and showing how they got involved in the crime. I can't even remember what happened first and what happened last, and I've seen the movie over 100 times. It's so complex.

I love the scene in the diner where Mr. Pink argues about paying the tip. That's so funny, because me and my friends have done the exact same thing.

Me, Steve and Zach rent it sometimes and watch it in the commons area. (Whitman House rules!) We all wear our Reservoir Dogs T-shirts, and we each take a character and say all his lines. (Last time I was Tim Roth.)

In conclusion, I just want to say that Reservoir Dogs is the greatest movie ever made.

Reservoir Dogs Is Fucking Awesome

Man, that dude doesn't know what he's talking about. Where he comes off with that opinion is beyond me. Reservoir Dogs is fucking awesome!

Harvey Keitel is the baddest dude I've ever seen act. And, unlike my esteemed colleague, I've seen a ton of movies. Three of my favorites are Blade Runner, A Clockwork Orange and Star Wars. Those are some cool movies. But Dogs (as it's called by people who really fucking love it) beats them all. It's like, pow, pow, pow!

There are so many guns in that movie, I bet it has more guns than any other movie ever.

My favorite part is when Michael Madsen, Mr. Blond, is torturing that cop and cutting him up and throwing gasoline in his face. The first time I saw that part, I was like, holy shit.

The best thing about that scene is the fact that, although it's really violent, it also really makes you think. I mean, on the one hand, I kind of felt bad for the cop, but then, on the other hand, I thought, those are the risks you take if you become a cop.

I wanted to beat up a pig once when I got my fake ID snagged at Duffy's.

I've seen Pulp Fiction a bunch of times, and it's cool, but it's not nearly as good as Dogs. Keitel didn't have a big enough role, and there were too many different plot lines to follow. A good movie has only one story.

And that end scene, where they're all pointing the guns at each other and they all shoot each other—where'd Tarantino come up with that?

In conclusion, Reservoir Dogs is seriously fucking awesome.

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