adBlockCheck

Entertainment

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
End Of Section
  • More News

Reservoir Dogs Is The Best Movie Ever vs. Reservoir Dogs Is Fucking Awesome

Reservoir Dogs Is The Best Movie Ever

Let me tell you this: Reservoir Dogs is the best movie ever! It's everything a good movie should be. You got great characters, awesome dialogue and tons of unbelievable action. Quentin Tarantino is a god.

If I think about all the movies I've seen, and I've seen a lot, I can't think of anything that even comes close. Sure, Star Wars, Blade Runner and A Clockwork Orange are all pretty cool. They're all great actually. But Reservoir Dogs blows them away. Why? Because it's just so fucking cool.

I've got this awesome six-foot-tall poster of it in my dorm room. It shows that part where they're all walking in slow motion.

I love how it's told in this totally messed-up order. It starts after the crime is over and then goes backwards. It's constantly jumping back and forth between flashback and present. The way they introduce each character is by flashing back and showing how they got involved in the crime. I can't even remember what happened first and what happened last, and I've seen the movie over 100 times. It's so complex.

I love the scene in the diner where Mr. Pink argues about paying the tip. That's so funny, because me and my friends have done the exact same thing.

Me, Steve and Zach rent it sometimes and watch it in the commons area. (Whitman House rules!) We all wear our Reservoir Dogs T-shirts, and we each take a character and say all his lines. (Last time I was Tim Roth.)

In conclusion, I just want to say that Reservoir Dogs is the greatest movie ever made.

Reservoir Dogs Is Fucking Awesome

Man, that dude doesn't know what he's talking about. Where he comes off with that opinion is beyond me. Reservoir Dogs is fucking awesome!

Harvey Keitel is the baddest dude I've ever seen act. And, unlike my esteemed colleague, I've seen a ton of movies. Three of my favorites are Blade Runner, A Clockwork Orange and Star Wars. Those are some cool movies. But Dogs (as it's called by people who really fucking love it) beats them all. It's like, pow, pow, pow!

There are so many guns in that movie, I bet it has more guns than any other movie ever.

My favorite part is when Michael Madsen, Mr. Blond, is torturing that cop and cutting him up and throwing gasoline in his face. The first time I saw that part, I was like, holy shit.

The best thing about that scene is the fact that, although it's really violent, it also really makes you think. I mean, on the one hand, I kind of felt bad for the cop, but then, on the other hand, I thought, those are the risks you take if you become a cop.

I wanted to beat up a pig once when I got my fake ID snagged at Duffy's.

I've seen Pulp Fiction a bunch of times, and it's cool, but it's not nearly as good as Dogs. Keitel didn't have a big enough role, and there were too many different plot lines to follow. A good movie has only one story.

And that end scene, where they're all pointing the guns at each other and they all shoot each other—where'd Tarantino come up with that?

In conclusion, Reservoir Dogs is seriously fucking awesome.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close