Articles by Herbert Kornfeld
Whassup, G's. Yo, check this shit out: Ever since I be testifyin' about how I be tha Stone-Cold Hardcore Mack Daddy of Midstate Office Supply, all y'all wanna be part of my Accountz Reeceevable posse. Thas cool, but if you wanna run with tha H-Dog, you gots to have skeelz, know what I'm sayin'? You gots to EXECUTE.
Heads up, G's, 'cuz tha H-Dog is in tha house, keepin' it real at Midstate Office Supply, tha largest wholesale dealer of office supplies and business machines in tha entire muthafuckin' Tri-State Area.
Yo yo yo yo yo yo, whassssup, bruthas and sistas of H-Dog, Tha Lowdown Funky-Fresh Gangsta Bad Ass of the Accountz Reeceevable Department of Midstate Office Supply, Tha Righteous Funk Masta, Tha Stone-Cold Muthafuckin' Playa with all tha dope spreadsheets and fly alphabetized invoice files and shit. Y'all be down with the H-Dog, know what I'm sayin'? And those who ain't, y'all can kiss my ass, muthafuckas. Some cocksuckas tried to fuck wit' the H-Dog last week and got they fuckin' asses WHUPPED.
Yo yo yo yo, whassssuuup, G's. H-Dog in tha house, and you'll pardon me if I dispense with the usual formalities, but I'm out for muthafuckin' REVENGE. You see, some dirty cocksucka dared fuck with me, Tha Stone Cold Funky-Fresh Bad-Ass Of Accountz Reeceevable. I swear, before I sign out for lunch today I'm gonna Hong Kong on that sorry fool's ass. I'm gonna cut him a permanent smile wit' my Letter Opener Of Death. I'm serious. Heads will get flown.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, bruthahs 'n' sistahs. H-Dog here, His Stone Cold Baadness, The Original Gangsta, The Mack Daddy, The Freaky Gangbanga. And I got somethin' to say to all y'all bitches out there: Keep yo' motherfuckin' shit offa my desk, or I'll fuck your sorry ass up wit' a quickness. And I don't want to see y'all comin' around, puttin' your feet on it, neither. Or puttin' your goddamn coffee cups on it and leaving them fucked-up rings all upside the wood and shit.