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Jean Teasdale

Jean Teasdale has been The Onion's resident humor and human-interest columnist since 1987. She has been married to tire technician Richard "Rick" Teasdale for nearly 20 years. She resides in the Midwest, and is nearly 40 years old.

Off The Top Of My Head

ISSUE 48•05 | 01.31.12

Love a good bargain as much as Jean Teasdale? Betcha you don't! For example, I don't call the third day of the week Tuesday anymore—I call it Doublecouponday! more»
They're Canceling My Favorite Soap!

ISSUE 47•38 | 09.20.11

Once in a while, something happens that is so out of nowhere and so inexplicable it leaves you gasping for words. And that something happened last month, when it was announced my very favorite soap opera Brink Of Destiny would be going off the air in September! more»
Will Semi-Success Spoil Jean Teasdale?

ISSUE 46•49 | 12.07.10

2010 was a banner year at good ol' Casa Teasdale. In March, the tire center gave Hubby Rick a $2-an-hour raise. more»
Author, Author!

ISSUE 46•41 | 10.12.10

When I announced last month that I had written a book of my own (called A Book Of Jean's Own! ), I got a few reactions that I didn't anticipate. more»
Summer Days, Driftin' Away

ISSUE 46•36 | 09.07.10

Well, the Summer of Jean has come and gone. You Jeanketeers will know what I'm talking about: In a column back in June (boy, does that feel like a lifetime ago…), I discussed how I was really going to take charge of this summer and make it my own. more»
Here's To The Next 40 Years Of Jean!

ISSUE 46•33 | 08.19.10

Okay, Jeanketeers, deep breath: On Aug. 9, I finally hit the big four-oh (the "oh" is for "Oh, my God!"). more»
Mothering Frights

ISSUE 46•18 | 05.06.10

Every Jeanketeer worth his or her low-sodium salt substitute (!!) knows that Christmas is my very favorite holiday, with Valentine's Day a close second. more»
P.S. I Love You

ISSUE 45•39 | 09.22.09

So where were you on the night of Sept. 14, when you first heard the news? Were you, like me, sitting at the kitchen table watching E! and... more»
Six Things I'd Like To Do Before I Die!

ISSUE 45•16 | 04.14.09

Noticed lately all these books that list various things we should see or do before we earn our angel wings? I gotta say, what a brilliant idea. It... more»
We're In An Economy-Sized Pickle!

ISSUE 44•52 ISSUE 44•51 | 12.16.08

Refusing to buy all this news about the economy being in the ol' litter box? Well, believe it. It's true! And how does your pal Jean know this?... more»