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Columnists

Jim Anchower

Jim Anchower joined The Onion's editorial writing staff in 1993 after several distinguished years on The Come Back Inn dishwashing staff. He comments on community-affairs, automotive, and employment issues. He attended LaFollette High School in Madison, WI.

I Got A Beat Down From A Crazy Cat Dude

ISSUE 47•45 | 11.08.11

Hola, amigos. How's your pecker? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but things have been pretty rough for your pal Jim. more»
I Had Bedbugs, But They're All Cleared Up Now

ISSUE 47•24 | 06.14.11

Hola, amigos. Whuddup? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I been knee-deep in the hoopla. more»
For A Few Months, I Had It All

ISSUE 46•39 | 09.30.10

Hola, amigos. What's up? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I been stressin' like a Hessian over the amount of shit going on. more»
I Still Ain't Sure About This Socialism Medicine

ISSUE 46•16 | 04.22.10

Hola, amigos. How's tricks? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I been chasing my tail like a retard dog these days. I've been working plenty of hours at the warehouse discount place. more»
I Got Some Sweet New Digs

ISSUE 45•44 | 10.29.09

Hola, amigos. How's it going? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I've been cheek-deep in a ditch of shit. First of all, the... more»
I Got To Find A New Place To Live

ISSUE 45•12 | 03.17.09

Hola, amigos. How's by you? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I been weighed down by a shit-ton of trouble. First of all, my... more»
I Meant To Vote, But You Know How It Goes

ISSUE 44•46 | 11.12.08

Hola, amigos. How's it going with you? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya. I been trying get through a jungle of bullshit, but it... more»
I'm Fryin' My Nuts Off!

ISSUE 44•36 | 09.03.08

Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but things have been getting plenty hairy around here. First, I been running like... more»
I Got A Rat Problem, And I Don't Mean The Band

ISSUE 44•12 | 03.19.08

Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I been puttin' out fires left and right. First off, the brakes on my Festiva... more»
I Was Too Gone To Go To Work

ISSUE 43•48 | 11.28.07

Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I been trying to keep myself dry in the shitstorm, you know? First of all, I... more»

Columnists

I Got A Beat Down From A Crazy Cat Dude

I Had Bedbugs, But They're All Cleared Up Now

For A Few Months, I Had It All

I Still Ain't Sure About This Socialism Medicine

I Got Some Sweet New Digs

I Got To Find A New Place To Live

I Meant To Vote, But You Know How It Goes

I'm Fryin' My Nuts Off!

I Got A Rat Problem, And I Don't Mean The Band

I Was Too Gone To Go To Work

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