Articles by Jim Anchower
Hola, amigos. Who's your daddy? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but there's been no end of troubles in Anchower Town.
Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I've been getting the shit end of the stick lately. It's not like I had much going on as far as work. Since I busted my leg on the roofing job, I've been getting paid for staying home. It was pretty sweet for a while, watching the checks roll in while I caught up on my tube-watching and video-game-playing. But then I started to go a little stir crazy. I couldn't drive, because I couldn't bend that leg, and it took forever to walk anywhere on crutches.
Hola, amigos. How's every little thing? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I've barely had a chance to catch my breath these days. Ron hooked me up with a job at the carbonics plant where he works. For a while, I was the guy that cut blocks of dry ice. It was all right, but I didn't know Ron was gonna be my supervisor. I was able to put up with that for about two seconds before I stopped showing up. There's no way that mallethead is going to tell me what to do. He even wrote me up for being late.
Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I been spending a lotta time quietly reflecting on all the things going on in my life. First off, I got shitcanned from my job driving people from the airport to the car-rental place and back. I was on lunch break one day when the guy who was filling in for me dinged a car in the parking lot and didn't tell anyone. The manager thought I did it, so when I checked the bus in for the night, he fired me on the spot, without even checking out my story. Man, that hurt. I was seventh in line for a promotion.
Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but the trouble pot boiled over and spilled all over everything again. For one thing, my fridge went on the fritz last week. I'd tell my landlord, but I'm a little late in paying my rent, so I have to avoid him until my next payday. In the meantime, I'm keeping everything important in three coolers. I stopped by the carbonics plant where Ron works, and he slipped me a bucket of dry ice. So far, everything is kept as cold as it would be in a refrigerator. You have to be careful about getting the beer out of the bottom of the cooler, though, because you can burn yourself on the ice. I know it sounds wild, getting burned by ice, but trust me on this one: It hurts like a motherfucker.
Hola, amigos. What's going on? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I've been out of my head lately. I've put on about 15 pounds since I started my job driving people back and forth between the airport and the car-rental place. I don't get it. I've been driving my ass off, and I'm still becoming a king-sized fat-ass. I'm trying that Atkins diet. They got a book about it, but why bother with that? I think I got the gist of it from hearing Wes' mom talk about it all the time. I mean, eat nothing but meat? Sign me up. I went out and got myself 12 packs of hot dogs and a 10-pound box of frozen hamburger patties. I haven't lost any weight yet, but I figure you gotta give these things some time to work.
Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I've had my nuts in a twist for a while. I still got the job driving the bus for the car-rental place. I ain't going anywhere working there, except back and forth from the airport, but at least sitting behind the wheel gives me time to ponder over shit. I've been thinking about how to make a car into a helicopter, so I can get places faster. I think I got it figured out. I just need some propellers. Don't go trying to take that idea, though. It's mine, and if you steal it, I will find you and beat your ass.
Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I've been burning the candle at both ends lately. Shit, if a candle had three or four ends, they'd be burning, too.
Hola, amigos. You all right? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I've been in constant motion, dodging all the crap life's been shoveling my way. I had to put my car out to pasture, because the door fell off. I would've just re-attached it, but it was all rusted out, and I didn't want to fall out of my car while I was doing 75. Besides, the engine had about 170,000 miles on it and a bad knock. I'll be damned if I was going to replace the engine on an '88 Ford Festiva.
Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I been left standing with my dick in the breeze by a whole lotta bullshit. For example, I had my hours cut at work. I asked if they were mad at me, and they said I drove people to and from the airport like a champ, but that business was slow. I told them to just fire me so I could get unemployment, but they said they wanted to keep me for when things get better. Now I gotta get a second job, which totally blows. I'd quit, but it's one of the best jobs I've ever had.