Articles by "T. Herman Zweibel"
Rating The Adult Diapers
In my young days, I could shit like a draft horse. But now, I can only coax a thin, yellowish gruel from my feeble colon ...
I Miss My Old Sled
I have been informed that winter has been upon us for a good month now. It is during this long season that my thoughts invariably ...
Down With The Income Tax!
Reading from his enormous ledger book, my accountant informed me today that my decision to purchase the Almagamated Vulcanized Testicle Company had resulted in a ...
I Will Be Drawing The Comical Strips This Week
This Sunday past my nurse was reading me the comical cartoon amusement supplements. At first I was dead-set against the idea of such a supplement ...
Predictions For 1913
Another infant New-Year, bless its heart, is fast a-suckling upon the teat of its wet nurse. And I predict great things for this Year Of ...
There Shall Be No Christmas This Year!
The other day, my manservant Standish and my nurse were wheeling in the multitudes of penny postcards and other handwritten wishes of good tidings that ...
Here Is Some Pornography For You
I have been a newspaper-man all my life, and a principled one at that. Throughout my long career I have steadfastly refused to cater to ...
Buried Alive--Again!
Leave it to my loathsome, wastrel offspring, J. Phineas, to screw up once more! Yesterday morning, I woke up and everything was pitch black. Not ...
Ro-Bots Are Trying To Kill Me
I'm often asked about the role of technology in our society, and whether it is ultimately beneficial or destructive. My reply: Technology is a ...
Buggy For Let!
For sale! A secondhand buggy in fine and sturdy condition. Previous owner elderly invalid plutocrat. Pony not included. Reasonable terms. Kindly direct any and all ...




















