MIAMI—In their first official meeting Saturday as Democratic running mates, Hillary Clinton reportedly pulled aside her vice presidential pick, Virginia senator Tim Kaine, and quietly assured him that in the event of her death while in office, she would continue serving as commander-in-chief.
- No. The universe needs to be about me.
- Yes. And I have a half-remembered dream to prove it.
- No. I believe that the only life in the infinite bounds of space is contained within an 8,000-mile radius of Tempe, AZ.
- It depends—do they believe in us? I’m only on board if the belief is mutual.
- Well, shucks. I reckon I can't say. I'm just a simple fella who doesn't concern himself with beings outside this here solar system.
- Of course not, fellow human adult. Like you, I am just a normal Earth breeding drone who loves Earth sports and ketchup.
- I don’t know. Is that a weird or normal thing to believe now?
- There better be; my alibi relies heavily on it.