adBlockCheck

Recent News

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
End Of Section
  • More News

Do You Believe Edward Snowden Is A Traitor Or Hero?

  • I have very little patience for people who stand up for what they believe.
  • Only a traitor would take advantage of an innocent, naive defense technology consulting firm like that.
  • My gut is telling me “hero,” but then again I was totally wrong about Snape, so who knows?
  • He’s really made me think about online privacy, and I hate him for that.
  • His actions say “traitor,” but his milky soft skin and penetrating cocoa-hued eyes scream “hero, hero, hero!”
  • I’ve always thought of him as a hero because he’s my son.
  • Isn’t there something in the middle, like bailiff?
  • Now, Bill, remember that we don’t talk politics at the table. Let’s just all try to have a nice meal, okay?

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close