WESTWOOD, CA—In a deft and ruthless display of the utmost cunning, local woman Anne Kaminski added the phrase ‘No gifts, please’ to the bottom of her birthday party invitation, sources confirmed Friday.
- Of course not. Can you imagine leaving elections in the hands of such uninformed decision-makers?
- Yes, but only for the next few presidential elections and then we should evaluate how they did.
- Sure. Who’s more up on the issues than people completely isolated from the outside world for months at a time?
- Yes. I love a little danger when I head to the polls.
- No, and I say that as a man with lots of blood on his hands.
- Absolutely. They should be forced to think critically about party platforms as part of their punishment.
- Yes. Anyone willing to tunnel out of prison under cover of darkness, adopt a pseudonym, and infiltrate their polling place in disguise deserves to have their voice heard.