Do You Believe Felons Should Have The Right To Vote?

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Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

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SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.
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Do You Believe Felons Should Have The Right To Vote?

  • Of course not. Can you imagine leaving elections in the hands of such uninformed decision-makers?
  • Yes, but only for the next few presidential elections and then we should evaluate how they did.
  • Sure. Who’s more up on the issues than people completely isolated from the outside world for months at a time?
  • Yes. I love a little danger when I head to the polls.
  • No, and I say that as a man with lots of blood on his hands.
  • Absolutely. They should be forced to think critically about party platforms as part of their punishment.
  • Yes. Anyone willing to tunnel out of prison under cover of darkness, adopt a pseudonym, and infiltrate their polling place in disguise deserves to have their voice heard.


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