AMARILLO, TX—Expressing frustration with the lack of convenient locations in his area, deranged gunman and anti-abortion fanatic Jared Broussard reported Monday that he could not believe how far he would have to drive to find the nearest Planned Parenthood clinic.
- No; I need overwhelming scientific evidence before I’ll believe something like that.
- Yes. I haven’t seen a single glacier anywhere.
- Only in a metaphorical sense.
- Not until the Costa Rican variable harlequin toad dies out for good.
- I’m close, but I’ll need to see a slightly melted earth on the cover of ‘Time’ magazine first.
- Yes, because in this day and age we all need to believe in something.
- I don’t, but that hasn’t ruined ‘The Day After Tomorrow’ for me.
- That’s neither here nor there. Two people in the parking lot saw you leave your dog inside the vehicle. Come with me.