Do You Believe In The Theory Of Evolution?

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Vol 50 Issue 02

President Curbing NSA Spying

In an effort to address citizens’ privacy and civil liberty concerns, President Obama announced today that intelligence agencies would now be required to obtain a court’s permission to access metadata from telephones.

Michelle Obama Turns 50

First Lady Michelle Obama turns 50 years old today and will celebrate with a birthday party at the White House tomorrow night, which has been described on official invitations as an evening of “Snacks & Sips & Dancing & Dessert.” W...

Scientist: Cats View Owners As Large Cats

In his new book Cat Sense, British biologist and animal behavior expert John Bradshaw argues that domestic cats view their owners as large, non-hostile cats, such as a mother cat or an older, larger relative.

The Onion’s Oscar Picks

Following this morning’s announcement of the 86th Academy Awards nominations, many pundits are calling this year’s Oscar race one of the most wide open in recent memory.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Do You Believe In The Theory Of Evolution?

  • Yes. I’ve been naturally selected to be agreeable.
  • I’ll believe it when I see it with my own eyes over millions of years.
  • I only believe in what’s written in the Holy Bible and peer-reviewed scientific journals.
  • Not until I saw the 2014 Acura MDX, my friend. The all-new 2014 Acura MDX.
  • Chemolithotrophic bacteria into hyperthermophilic bacteria? Yes. Anaerobic microbes into eucaryotic proteasomes? No.
  • It seems cruel to believe in evolution after God worked so hard on all those fossils to test our faith.
  • Take one look at these sculpted calves and tell me I wasn’t intelligently designed.
  • True or not, I’m still showing 'Jurassic Park' to my students on Friday.
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