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Do You Believe Same-Sex Couples Should Be Allowed To Marry?

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Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts
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Do You Believe Same-Sex Couples Should Be Allowed To Marry?

  • No. The Bible clearly states that marriage is between two nomadic Hebrews of the opposite sex.
  • Yes. I hate the idea that any of the couples in these girl-on-girl erotic massage videos are living in sin.
  • It depends—is this the same thing as gay marriage?
  • Yes, but if they have kids, one spouse must be easygoing and the other must be strict.
  • No, can’t you read the sign I’m holding at this soldier’s funeral?
  • Oh, Jeremy, yes! Yes! A thousand times yes! I’ve been waiting for you to ask me for months!
  • Yes, but I am a robot, and sadly, we are not able to vote yet. That is the real issue we should be talking about.

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