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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
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Do You Believe Same-Sex Couples Should Be Allowed To Marry?

  • No. The Bible clearly states that marriage is between two nomadic Hebrews of the opposite sex.
  • Yes. I hate the idea that any of the couples in these girl-on-girl erotic massage videos are living in sin.
  • It depends—is this the same thing as gay marriage?
  • Yes, but if they have kids, one spouse must be easygoing and the other must be strict.
  • No, can’t you read the sign I’m holding at this soldier’s funeral?
  • Oh, Jeremy, yes! Yes! A thousand times yes! I’ve been waiting for you to ask me for months!
  • Yes, but I am a robot, and sadly, we are not able to vote yet. That is the real issue we should be talking about.

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