GREENVILLE, SC—Insisting there is no way anyone else would be able to get ahold of the weapons in his home, local gun owner Kevin Williamson told reporters Thursday he always keeps his firearms securely locked away where only he can access them during a severe mental breakdown.
- No. The Bible clearly states that marriage is between two nomadic Hebrews of the opposite sex.
- Yes. I hate the idea that any of the couples in these girl-on-girl erotic massage videos are living in sin.
- It depends—is this the same thing as gay marriage?
- Yes, but if they have kids, one spouse must be easygoing and the other must be strict.
- No, can’t you read the sign I’m holding at this soldier’s funeral?
- Oh, Jeremy, yes! Yes! A thousand times yes! I’ve been waiting for you to ask me for months!
- Yes, but I am a robot, and sadly, we are not able to vote yet. That is the real issue we should be talking about.