Do You Believe Same-Sex Couples Should Be Allowed To Marry?

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Vol 49 Issue 47

FCC May Allow Cell Phone Calls On Flights

The Federal Communications Commission is considering lifting the ban on cell phone calls on flights when the plane is above 10,000 feet, though calls would still be disallowed during takeoff and landing.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Do You Believe Same-Sex Couples Should Be Allowed To Marry?

  • No. The Bible clearly states that marriage is between two nomadic Hebrews of the opposite sex.
  • Yes. I hate the idea that any of the couples in these girl-on-girl erotic massage videos are living in sin.
  • It depends—is this the same thing as gay marriage?
  • Yes, but if they have kids, one spouse must be easygoing and the other must be strict.
  • No, can’t you read the sign I’m holding at this soldier’s funeral?
  • Oh, Jeremy, yes! Yes! A thousand times yes! I’ve been waiting for you to ask me for months!
  • Yes, but I am a robot, and sadly, we are not able to vote yet. That is the real issue we should be talking about.
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