Do You Believe Same-Sex Couples Should Be Allowed To Marry?

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Horrifying Police Body Camera Footage Clearly Shows Current State Of America

CINCINNATI—Following a traffic stop earlier this month by a University of Cincinnati police officer that ended in the shooting death of an unarmed black motorist, authorities confirmed Thursday that the disturbing video recorded by the officer’s body camera clearly and graphically shows the current state of America.

Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.
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Do You Believe Same-Sex Couples Should Be Allowed To Marry?

  • No. The Bible clearly states that marriage is between two nomadic Hebrews of the opposite sex.
  • Yes. I hate the idea that any of the couples in these girl-on-girl erotic massage videos are living in sin.
  • It depends—is this the same thing as gay marriage?
  • Yes, but if they have kids, one spouse must be easygoing and the other must be strict.
  • No, can’t you read the sign I’m holding at this soldier’s funeral?
  • Oh, Jeremy, yes! Yes! A thousand times yes! I’ve been waiting for you to ask me for months!
  • Yes, but I am a robot, and sadly, we are not able to vote yet. That is the real issue we should be talking about.