WESTWOOD, CA—In a deft and ruthless display of the utmost cunning, local woman Anne Kaminski added the phrase ‘No gifts, please’ to the bottom of her birthday party invitation, sources confirmed Friday.
- I’d like to see a few more government shutdowns first.
- Yes. I want to be part of history in a small, dull way.
- No. I have a preexisting condition and have come to believe I don’t deserve insurance.
- I don’t plan for anything, baby.
- Not sure. I’m one of those ‘not sure’ people in polls.
- Yes. I just moved to the city and I’m hoping to make new friends this way.
- I’m sorry, are you referring to the Affordable Care Act? No way!