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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Do You Support Banning The Possession Of Handguns?

  • No. I need this handgun in case I have to shoot a person.
  • Certainly not the Beretta Px4 Storm Inox! Talk about smooth action.
  • Yes, but only if we can still make our hands into the shape of a gun and pretend to blow smoke from it after dishing out a great insult.
  • Not until I settle a few scores.
  • Only for criminals and men of poor repute.
  • You can’t possibly be suggesting I get rid of Peggy?!
  • I’m so good at fighting that it doesn’t really matter.

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