ADAMS, TN—Saying the celestial phenomenon was a once-in-a-lifetime experience for her, a local cow announced Monday that she was excited to freak the fuck out during the solar eclipse.
- No. I need this handgun in case I have to shoot a person.
- Certainly not the Beretta Px4 Storm Inox! Talk about smooth action.
- Yes, but only if we can still make our hands into the shape of a gun and pretend to blow smoke from it after dishing out a great insult.
- Not until I settle a few scores.
- Only for criminals and men of poor repute.
- You can’t possibly be suggesting I get rid of Peggy?!
- I’m so good at fighting that it doesn’t really matter.