Do You Support Banning The Possession Of Handguns?

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

Do You Support Banning The Possession Of Handguns?

  • No. I need this handgun in case I have to shoot a person.
  • Certainly not the Beretta Px4 Storm Inox! Talk about smooth action.
  • Yes, but only if we can still make our hands into the shape of a gun and pretend to blow smoke from it after dishing out a great insult.
  • Not until I settle a few scores.
  • Only for criminals and men of poor repute.
  • You can’t possibly be suggesting I get rid of Peggy?!
  • I’m so good at fighting that it doesn’t really matter.