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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Do You Think College Is A Good Investment?

  • Yes. Without college I could never have landed this job curating blog content all day.
  • No. Some of us were pegged as unskilled labor a loooooong time ago.
  • Maybe—it depends on which of my kids you’re asking about.
  • Of course. You can’t put a price on great memories, even though someone did and it’s almost $200,000.
  • Yes. I own several universities and they are very profitable.
  • No. Provosts are not to be trusted.
  • Absolutely. It’s important to get into debt early while you still have a lot of life left to ruin.
  • Yes. You can’t truly earn a Florida State sweatshirt by just buying one.

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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