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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Do You Think Doctors Are Overprescribing Medications?

  • No, I enjoy watching my patients destroy themselves.
  • Yes. But I feel like if I don’t take all of them, I’m being rude to my doctor.
  • What are you saying, that there’s nothing actually wrong with Jeremy?
  • It seems like doctors will give you penicillin for just about any life-threatening infection these days.
  • How else am I going to counteract the side effects of drugs I’ve already been prescribed?
  • I still can’t get my kid to shut the fuck up, so no.
  • Yes, especially the purple ones.
  • Why? What do you need?

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