adBlockCheck

Recent News

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

Do You Think Doctors Are Overprescribing Medications?

  • No, I enjoy watching my patients destroy themselves.
  • Yes. But I feel like if I don’t take all of them, I’m being rude to my doctor.
  • What are you saying, that there’s nothing actually wrong with Jeremy?
  • It seems like doctors will give you penicillin for just about any life-threatening infection these days.
  • How else am I going to counteract the side effects of drugs I’ve already been prescribed?
  • I still can’t get my kid to shut the fuck up, so no.
  • Yes, especially the purple ones.
  • Why? What do you need?
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close