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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Do You Think Schools Should Teach Abstinence-Only Sex Education?

  • Yes. Our culture and media are so saturated with images of abstinence, it’s important for kids to get the facts.
  • No. We must propagate the species.
  • Of course. How else are we going to prepare them for a life where no one gets raped and everyone gets married?
  • We shouldn’t teach sexual education at all. Sex should remain a beautiful mystery, like science.
  • Yes. If we don’t, kids will just pick up myths about saving it for marriage on the playground.
  • Either way is fine as long as gym teachers with no classroom experience are still the ones teaching it.
  • I just drop them off and pick them up. Do what you have to do.
  • Yes, unless of course the students are really in love.

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