WASHINGTON—A crazed grin spreading across his face as his eyes darted wildly from one paramedic to another, sources said Tuesday that a babbling Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell demanded that the EMTs loading him onto a stretcher outside the Capitol vote ‘Yes’ on the Graham-Cassidy healthcare bill.
- Yes. Our culture and media are so saturated with images of abstinence, it’s important for kids to get the facts.
- No. We must propagate the species.
- Of course. How else are we going to prepare them for a life where no one gets raped and everyone gets married?
- We shouldn’t teach sexual education at all. Sex should remain a beautiful mystery, like science.
- Yes. If we don’t, kids will just pick up myths about saving it for marriage on the playground.
- Either way is fine as long as gym teachers with no classroom experience are still the ones teaching it.
- I just drop them off and pick them up. Do what you have to do.
- Yes, unless of course the students are really in love.