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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Do You Vaccinate Your Children?

  • Yes. I love to see the needle plow deep into their soft, unsullied flesh.
  • Annabelle, yes. Jason, no.
  • Not until one of these doctors vaccinates themselves to prove that these things aren’t full of poison.
  • Yes. Wait, does this mean some people don’t? Holy shit.
  • Only if they’ve been good.
  • Absolutely not. It’s my right as a parent to kill everyone who comes into contact with my child.
  • Yes, but only because I love the complete rush of waiting to see if my child gets autism.

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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