Do You Vaccinate Your Children?

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Meteorologists Say Upcoming Hurricane Season To Be Permanent

SILVER SPRING, MD—Warning residents to prepare for extreme winds, heavy rainfall, and flooding starting in the near future and continuing indefinitely, meteorologists at the National Weather Service announced Friday that the upcoming hurricane season would be permanent.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Man’s Body Running Out Of Ideas To Convince Him He Full

    BAYTOWN, TX—Having repeatedly ratcheted up the 34-year-old’s level of discomfort with no noticeable effect on his behavior, the body of local man Kent Dugan confirmed Wednesday that it was starting to run out of ideas to convince him that he was full.

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Do You Vaccinate Your Children?

  • Yes. I love to see the needle plow deep into their soft, unsullied flesh.
  • Annabelle, yes. Jason, no.
  • Not until one of these doctors vaccinates themselves to prove that these things aren’t full of poison.
  • Yes. Wait, does this mean some people don’t? Holy shit.
  • Only if they’ve been good.
  • Absolutely not. It’s my right as a parent to kill everyone who comes into contact with my child.
  • Yes, but only because I love the complete rush of waiting to see if my child gets autism.