adBlockCheck

Recent News

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
End Of Section
  • More News

Should Companies Be Required To Cover Birth Control In Their Health Insurance Policies?

  • Absolutely not. Employees should respect the beliefs of the people taking away their rights.
  • Sure, as long as the insurance companies can split the cost with the employees’ boyfriends.
  • No. No one at my company is having intercourse.
  • Yes, but only because I desperately want my company involved in every aspect of my personal life.
  • If we force companies to pay for women’s sexual health prescriptions, then what’s next? Covering the cost of Viagra and Cialis for men, no questions asked?
  • No way. I love flashing cold hard cash to my Walgreens cashier when I’m picking up Ortho Tri-Cyclen.
  • Yes, provided that birth control pills are given as rewards in exchange for meeting sales projections.
  • No. Employers shouldn’t be bullied into violating their deeply held beliefs by immoral women they personally hired to work for them.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close