POTOMAC, MD—Providing male employees with an alternative to the standard one or two weeks off, executives from investment firm Wyndham Capital announced Tuesday that the company had begun offering extended paternity leave to any new fathers wanting more time to lose their colleagues’ respect.
- Absolutely not. Employees should respect the beliefs of the people taking away their rights.
- Sure, as long as the insurance companies can split the cost with the employees’ boyfriends.
- No. No one at my company is having intercourse.
- Yes, but only because I desperately want my company involved in every aspect of my personal life.
- If we force companies to pay for women’s sexual health prescriptions, then what’s next? Covering the cost of Viagra and Cialis for men, no questions asked?
- No way. I love flashing cold hard cash to my Walgreens cashier when I’m picking up Ortho Tri-Cyclen.
- Yes, provided that birth control pills are given as rewards in exchange for meeting sales projections.
- No. Employers shouldn’t be bullied into violating their deeply held beliefs by immoral women they personally hired to work for them.