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Should Companies Be Required To Cover Birth Control In Their Health Insurance Policies?

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Should Companies Be Required To Cover Birth Control In Their Health Insurance Policies?

  • Absolutely not. Employees should respect the beliefs of the people taking away their rights.
  • Sure, as long as the insurance companies can split the cost with the employees’ boyfriends.
  • No. No one at my company is having intercourse.
  • Yes, but only because I desperately want my company involved in every aspect of my personal life.
  • If we force companies to pay for women’s sexual health prescriptions, then what’s next? Covering the cost of Viagra and Cialis for men, no questions asked?
  • No way. I love flashing cold hard cash to my Walgreens cashier when I’m picking up Ortho Tri-Cyclen.
  • Yes, provided that birth control pills are given as rewards in exchange for meeting sales projections.
  • No. Employers shouldn’t be bullied into violating their deeply held beliefs by immoral women they personally hired to work for them.

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