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Should Illegal Immigrants Be Deported?

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Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.
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Should Illegal Immigrants Be Deported?

  • No. It’s easier for me to hate them when they’re nearby.
  • Yes. Get these damn Norwegians out of my country.
  • Definitely! I’m all for anything that involves a long, frustrating bureaucratic process.
  • Only the ones I am not currently exploiting.
  • Yes, but not Miguel. He can stay.
  • Nah, they can have the jobs. I was never one for working anyway.
  • Whatever it takes to win this primary.

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