adBlockCheck

Recent News

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
End Of Section
  • More News

Should Kids Be Allowed To Sleep In Bed With Their Parents?

  • No. Bedtime is when parents get to make fun of all the stupid things their child said that day.
  • Yes, but not past age 25.
  • Absolutely not. Kids should cry themselves to sleep each night, same as me.
  • Sure. It seems slightly less weird than other recent parenting trends.
  • Okay, but only if they all sleep in descending order of height.
  • Yes!
  • No; otherwise those kids would never grow out of being the little spoon.
  • Definitely. I’m not going to wait until morning to be kicked in the face.

More from this section

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close