ARIES: You will experience unbounded happiness and success in every area of your life this week, unless of course there is something fundamentally and irreversibly wrong with you.
- No. Bedtime is when parents get to make fun of all the stupid things their child said that day.
- Yes, but not past age 25.
- Absolutely not. Kids should cry themselves to sleep each night, same as me.
- Sure. It seems slightly less weird than other recent parenting trends.
- Okay, but only if they all sleep in descending order of height.
- No; otherwise those kids would never grow out of being the little spoon.
- Definitely. I’m not going to wait until morning to be kicked in the face.