CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
- Yes, teachers are the first line of defense against a non-threatening school environment.
- Absolutely not. Students have enough firepower to protect themselves.
- Yes, guns are incredibly effective tools for visual learners.
- No way. If we give teachers guns, the next thing you know, they’ll expect up-to-date textbooks.
- Of course. We can’t have our children growing up thinking any space can’t become a battlefield at a moment’s notice.
- Fine, let’s give the NRA what it wants just this one time.
- Absolutely, because the idea of seeing Mr. Meckler trying to handle a gun is freaking hilarious.