TAMPA BAY, FL—Calling the 10,000-gallon habitat hallowed ground, a local stingray told reporters Monday that he dreams of one day making it to the Tropicana Field touch tank.
- Yes, teachers are the first line of defense against a non-threatening school environment.
- Absolutely not. Students have enough firepower to protect themselves.
- Yes, guns are incredibly effective tools for visual learners.
- No way. If we give teachers guns, the next thing you know, they’ll expect up-to-date textbooks.
- Of course. We can’t have our children growing up thinking any space can’t become a battlefield at a moment’s notice.
- Fine, let’s give the NRA what it wants just this one time.
- Absolutely, because the idea of seeing Mr. Meckler trying to handle a gun is freaking hilarious.