Should Teachers Be Permitted To Carry Guns In Schools?

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Vol 50 Issue 35

Cannibal Corpse Blasting From Papal Apartment Window

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The New York Post reported that, following a Twitter outreach campaign that backfired horribly, the NYPD is requiring its officers to attend mandatory classes at a local college on how to use Twitter.
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Should Teachers Be Permitted To Carry Guns In Schools?

  • Yes, teachers are the first line of defense against a non-threatening school environment.
  • Absolutely not. Students have enough firepower to protect themselves.
  • Yes, guns are incredibly effective tools for visual learners.
  • No way. If we give teachers guns, the next thing you know, they’ll expect up-to-date textbooks.
  • Of course. We can’t have our children growing up thinking any space can’t become a battlefield at a moment’s notice.
  • Fine, let’s give the NRA what it wants just this one time.
  • Absolutely, because the idea of seeing Mr. Meckler trying to handle a gun is freaking hilarious.
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