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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Should We Allow Human Cloning?

  • Yes. Having a kid with 50 percent of my DNA is nice, but I could do better.
  • No. I don’t think human beings should be playing God, aside from modern medicine, the death penalty, genetically modified crops, the subjugation of animals, and in-vitro fertilization.
  • Yes. If we criminalize cloning, then the only people with clones will be criminals and the clones of those criminals.
  • Fine with me. I realized long ago that another me walking around wouldn’t make me any less of a self-centered asshole.
  • Okay, but only if we outlaw that bullshit where you say their name and they all say “what?” simultaneously.
  • Absolutely. We seem to be at a loss for other ways to create human life.
  • Yes, but start with only a few hundred thousand, then reevaluate.
  • Sure. Why not? God is dead.

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