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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.
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Should We Allow Human Cloning?

  • Yes. Having a kid with 50 percent of my DNA is nice, but I could do better.
  • No. I don’t think human beings should be playing God, aside from modern medicine, the death penalty, genetically modified crops, the subjugation of animals, and in-vitro fertilization.
  • Yes. If we criminalize cloning, then the only people with clones will be criminals and the clones of those criminals.
  • Fine with me. I realized long ago that another me walking around wouldn’t make me any less of a self-centered asshole.
  • Okay, but only if we outlaw that bullshit where you say their name and they all say “what?” simultaneously.
  • Absolutely. We seem to be at a loss for other ways to create human life.
  • Yes, but start with only a few hundred thousand, then reevaluate.
  • Sure. Why not? God is dead.

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