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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Should We Raise Taxes On The Rich To Redistribute Wealth?

  • No, that goes against the oligarchic principles on which this country stands.
  • Can’t we give the nation’s wealthy a moment’s peace?
  • Absolutely not. The only thing this will do is punish success and provide a half-decent standard of living for millions of people.
  • Why fix what’s not broken for an incredibly small minority of people?
  • No. That’s what the tip jar is for.
  • Wa-hoo! Do I get to talk about tax policy now?
  • No way. Unless a majority of Americans agree on it, and research finds that rising inequality among top earners and middle and lower classes is unsustainable and likely to have major destabilizing political and economic consequences.
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