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Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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What Should The U.S. Do About Illegal Immigration?

  • Outlaw illegal immigration.
  • Deport those whose inspiring stories we haven’t heard yet.
  • See if they’d be open to the idea of working for very low pay.
  • Obviously, allow any immigrants into America if they’re fleeing Nazi Germany. That’s a no-brainer.
  • Learn to tolerate them, live with them, and, inevitably, fall madly in love with them.
  • On the one hand, we’re a nation of immigrants, so we should be open. But on the other, frantically and viciously defending the last dwindling threads of my demographic’s hold on power is extremely satisfying, so it’s tough.
  • Allow any immigrant into America who has the raw sex appeal and star power of Shakira.
  • Color border states an unattractive shade of olive.
  • Continue efforts to make the U.S. the least appealing country on the continent.

More from this section

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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