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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Would You Live With Your Significant Other Before Marriage?

  • Absolutely. It's every little girl's dream to live with someone for years until she figures marriage wouldn't be much different.
  • Like some awful Presbyterian? No way.
  • Yes. Living together gives couples more face-to-face time during the day for the women to hint at wanting a proposal.
  • Only if one person’s apartment is a lot nicer than the other one’s.
  • No. It's better to string them along in separate apartments for years and years beforehand.
  • Of course; what better way to find out how consistently she’ll have dinner waiting?
  • Are there any tax benefits?
  • Yes, but only for the sake of the kids.
  • God, if I could only call someone my significant other I would be so, so happy.

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