Would You Live With Your Significant Other Before Marriage?

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Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

Man Races Against Time To Take Out Trash Bag With Widening Puncture

RIO RANCHO, NM—His pace steadily quickening as he rounded the corner out of his kitchen and made a beeline for the front door, local man Henry Parnasse reportedly found himself locked in a race against time Wednesday morning to take out a trash bag with a widening hole in its side.
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House and Home

Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

Fatherhood

  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Would You Live With Your Significant Other Before Marriage?

  • Absolutely. It's every little girl's dream to live with someone for years until she figures marriage wouldn't be much different.
  • Like some awful Presbyterian? No way.
  • Yes. Living together gives couples more face-to-face time during the day for the women to hint at wanting a proposal.
  • Only if one person’s apartment is a lot nicer than the other one’s.
  • No. It's better to string them along in separate apartments for years and years beforehand.
  • Of course; what better way to find out how consistently she’ll have dinner waiting?
  • Are there any tax benefits?
  • Yes, but only for the sake of the kids.
  • God, if I could only call someone my significant other I would be so, so happy.