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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Would You Live With Your Significant Other Before Marriage?

  • Absolutely. It's every little girl's dream to live with someone for years until she figures marriage wouldn't be much different.
  • Like some awful Presbyterian? No way.
  • Yes. Living together gives couples more face-to-face time during the day for the women to hint at wanting a proposal.
  • Only if one person’s apartment is a lot nicer than the other one’s.
  • No. It's better to string them along in separate apartments for years and years beforehand.
  • Of course; what better way to find out how consistently she’ll have dinner waiting?
  • Are there any tax benefits?
  • Yes, but only for the sake of the kids.
  • God, if I could only call someone my significant other I would be so, so happy.
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