DES MOINES, IA—Heralding the discovery as the most complete specimen of its kind, a team of archaeologists from the University of Iowa announced Thursday that they had managed to reconstruct more than 75 percent of a Snyder’s of Hanover pretzel from fragments found at a Des Moines–area Stop ’N Go.
- Yes; I should’ve been taken off the road years ago.
- No, I just don’t trust computers for anything beyond writing emails, paying bills, giving directions, doing taxes, maintaining health records, performing surgery, flying airplanes, and controlling nuclear missiles.
- Only if I can sit in the driver’s seat and pretend I’m steering with my feet while reading a newspaper.
- No, thanks. My chauffeur, Jackson, is doing just fine.
- Yes. I’ve been looking for one more way not to take responsibility for my life.
- No way. I didn’t spend five years gaining the confidence to merge for nothing.
- Sure; I’ve always wanted to adjust the radio’s tuning and volume knobs at the same time.
- No. Driving is so monotonous without the thrill of human error.