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Website's Built-In Search Engine Just Pathetic

NEWS IN BRIEF
CHICAGO—Following several unsuccessful attempts to find a specific article on a national media website, readers confirmed Monday that the built-in search engine found in the upper-right-hand ...

Man Had No Idea Cough Was Going To Be Wet One

NEWS IN BRIEF
MUSKEGON, MI—Caught completely off guard by the viscous lump of sputum that was dislodged and sent rocketing upward from his lower respiratory tract, area man Luke Reese confirmed Wednesday he had ...

Area Man A Staunch Single-Gender Voter

NEWS IN BRIEF
JOHNSTOWN, PA—Saying it was the only factor he considered when deciding who to cast his ballot for, local man William Swanson, 44, told reporters Thursday he is strictly a single-gender voter.

Area Man Disappointed In Self For Already Being Full

NEWS IN BRIEF
GREEN VALLEY, AZ—Compelled by physical discomfort to set down the remainder of his pulled pork sandwich and discontinue eating the small mound of French fries still sitting on his plate, local man ...

Area Man Got Good Amount Of Meat In That Last Bite

NEWS IN BRIEF
FORT DODGE, IA—Saying the first mouthful of the cheeseburger had been mostly bun and lettuce, local man Tony Rossetti confirmed Friday that he got a good amount of meat in that last bite.

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