Showing 1 to 20 of 525 Total Results

Website's Built-In Search Engine Just Pathetic

NEWS IN BRIEF
CHICAGO—Following several unsuccessful attempts to find a specific article on a national media website, readers confirmed Monday that the built-in search engine found in the upper-right-hand ...

Area Man Under Impression He Got Dressed Up

NEWS IN BRIEF
PROVIDENCE, RI—Explaining that the dinner he would soon be having at an upscale restaurant required him to wear something a bit special, local man Kyle Finnegan was under the impression that he had...

Fast Food Customers Less Appealing Than In Commercial

NEWS IN BRIEF
GREENVILLE, SC—Expressing his disappointment shortly after sitting down for lunch at a local franchise location Wednesday, area man Peter Strauss told reporters that the customers at Burger K...

Area Man Could Have Made Same Meal At Home But Worse

NEWS IN BRIEF
SMYRNA, GA—Disappointed after spending $25 on dinner at his local Chinese restaurant Wednesday night, local man Keith Bradelson told reporters he could have easily prepared the same meal at h...

Area Man Only One With Problems

NEWS
BOSTON—Expressing the sadness they feel for the beleaguered man and his incomprehensible plight, friends, family, and acquaintances of area man Doug Belson confirmed Wednesday that he is the ...

Man’s Family Rises To Record-High Fourth Priority

NEWS IN BRIEF
WALTHAM, MA—After years of its climbing no higher than the ninth slot, sources confirmed Friday that area man Alan Stokes’ family rose to the 48-year-old’s record-high fourth prio...

Girlfriend Talks Through Whole Goddamn Commercial

NEWS IN BRIEF
WHEELING, WV—Saying that he was unable to focus fully on the storyline or hear crucial parts of the dialogue, area man Richard Heller told reporters that his girlfriend talked through a whole...