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Dylan, Albright, Morrison Receive Medal Of Freedom

AMERICAN VOICES
President Obama honored 13 recipients, including former secretary of state Madeleine Albright, singer Bob Dylan, author Toni Morrison, and astronaut John Glenn, with the Medal of Freedom. What do y...

Bob Dylan Lays Off 2,000 Workers From Songwriting Factory

VIDEO: ONION SPECIAL REPORT
Seeking to revitalize his musical operations following years of declining revenue and mounting production costs, musician Bob Dylan laid off 2,000 workers from his flagship songwriting factory in M...

Rock Fans Outraged As Bob Dylan Goes Electronica

NEWS IN BRIEF
NEWPORT, RI—Audience members at the Newport Rock Festival were "outraged" Monday when rock icon Bob Dylan followed up such classic hits as "Like A Rolling Stone" and "...

Middle-Aged Banana Panics Upon Finding First Brown Spot

VIDEO: ONION REVIEW
An area man panics after accidentally 'liking' 381 of his ex-girlfriend's Facebook photos, Bob Dylan lays off 2,000 workers from a songwriting factory, and a group of cardinals host a going away pa...

Best Music Festivals Of Summer 2013

INFOGRAPHIC
The summer music festival season is in full swing, with music fans gathering by the thousands at outdoor venues for a chance to see dozens of their favorite artists perform live.

Self-Centered Child Blames Divorce Entirely On Himself

NEWS IN BRIEF
LINCOLN, NE—Claiming that the third-grader refuses to acknowledge anyone else’s involvement in the situation, sources confirmed Monday that egocentric 8-year-old Dylan Fielder blames th...

Bob Hope Turns 100

INFOGRAPHIC
Last week, Bob Hope passed the century mark. How did the legendary comedian celebrate his 100th birthday?