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Abolish The Electoral College?

AMERICAN VOICES
In light of the havoc it has wreaked this presidential election, many Americans are calling for an end to the electoral college. What do you think?

Election FAQ

NEWS
In the days leading up to the Nov. 6 General Election, the Onion political team will answer your common questions about voting. Check back daily for two more responses to voters' most pressing q...

Defeated Man Victorious

NEWS
CHICAGO—Following a turbulent first term in office and one of the tightest and most-hard-fought presidential campaigns in recent history, a wholly and utterly defeated man emerged victoriou...

Nader Supporters Blame Electoral Defeat On Bush, Kerry

NEWS IN BRIEF
WASHINGTON, DC—Supporters of presidential candidate Ralph Nader blamed his defeat Tuesday on George W. Bush and John Kerry, claiming that the two candidates "ate up" his share of the electoral...

Bob Dole Demands Preemptive Recount

NEWS
CORPUS CHRISTI, TX—During a campaign swing through lower Texas Monday, Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole demanded a recount of the upcoming 1996 presidential election.

Ohio May Need Recount

AMERICAN VOICES
Polls in Ohio have shown a tight race for its crucial 18 electoral votes, leading many pundits to predict a statewide recount that could delay official tallies—and a clear victory in the pres...

My Mind Is As Sharp As It Ever Was

COMMENTARY
As I grow increasingly ancient, and therefore more prone to the rapacious violations of that great pervert Father Time, I become imprisoned in my own loath-some flesh. My fore-arms have mostly succ...