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Majestic Lowland Gorilla Exploited For Comic Effect

NEWS
CENTURY CITY, CA–The serene, awe-inspiring majesty of the lowland gorilla, one of nature's proudest and most powerful creatures, was compromised once again Tuesday, when an adult bull was &qu...

Jane Austen To Appear On British 10-Pound Bill

AMERICAN VOICES
The celebrated British romantic fiction author Jane Austen, who famously penned Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility, will appear on Great Britain’s new 10-pound note beginning aroun...

Original Kermit Donated To Smithsonian

INFOGRAPHIC
Last week, Jane Henson, widow of Jim Henson, donated 10 Muppets to the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History, including the original Kermit. Here are some of the other things donated to...

'Pride And Prejudice' Turns 200

AMERICAN VOICES
The classic Jane Austen novel Pride and Prejudice, which follows the courtship of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr.

In Theory

TV LISTINGS
Showtime 10 p.m. EST/9 p.m. CST Adventurous philosophy professor Jane Theory is a sexual dynamo whose intellectual musings during intercourse help her many partners reach epiphanies and orgasms th...

5-Star Resort For Dogs Opens In Spain

AMERICAN VOICES
A new five-star hotel for dogs called the Resort Canino Can Janè has opened near Barcelona with features that include a world-class swimming pool with slides and fountains specially designed...

Family Relieved To Hear Good Grandma Didn't Die

NEWS IN BRIEF
KEENE, NH—After enduring a temporary moment of heartbreak upon hearing their grandmother had died in her sleep the previous night, children of the Sullivan family told reporters Monday they w...

Local Moviegoer Enjoying Movie So Far

NEWS IN BRIEF
OAKLAND, CA—It was recently learned that local moviegoer Jane Pressler, who went to see a showing of The First Wives Club at Oakland's Sunrise Multiplex just a short while ago, is enjoying the movi...

Risk Champ Flunks Geography Test

NEWS IN BRIEF
ALBANY, NY—Alfred Wu, the 13-year-old winner of the 2004 East Coast Risk Championship, flunked his 8th-grade world-geography test, social-studies teacher Jane Laurent reported Monday. "His tes...

Senile Mother A Broken Novelty Record

NEWS IN BRIEF
HUNTLEY, NE—The constant chatter of vascular dementia–afflicted Sophia Chandler, 88, has become a "broken novelty record" to the...

Last Remaining Novelist Dies In Captivity

NEWS IN BRIEF
COLUMBUS, OH—Cultural zoologists are mourning the extinction of a species following Monday’s passing of novelist John Updike. The last living novelist, Updike died in his cage at the Columbus Zoo. ...

Local Woman's Life Looks Bearable In Scrapbook

NEWS
OCCOQUAN, VA—Jane Hemmer's family scrapbook, prominently displayed on her coffee table at all times, gives the impression that her life is not only bearable, but even pleasant, sources not pa...