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Party Not Big Enough To Move Out Of Kitchen Yet

NEWS IN BRIEF
TAMPA, FL—Determining that there needed to be at least three or four other guests before they could consider relocating, early arrivals at a party Thursday told reporters that the event was n...

Putting Ice Cream In Bowl Momentarily Considered

NEWS IN BRIEF
BLOOMINGDALE, NJ—While standing in his kitchen Thursday, 36-year-old Michael Morse briefly flirted with the idea of scooping ice cream from its carton into a bowl prior to eating it, an actio...

Just What You Should Want

REAL ESTATE
Beautiful house in an upscale neighborhood with four bedrooms, modern kitchen, walk-in closets, and absolutely no bathrooms where vile, disgusting acts could be performed.

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