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The Great Sports Books

SPORTSGRAPHIC
To mark the publication of The Ecstasy Of Defeat, The Onion takes a look at the proud tradition of sports literature.

I'll Try Anything With A Detached Air Of Superiority

COMMENTARY
I'm a pretty sophisticated, well-educated person. I went to Wesleyan, where I got my B.A. in comparative literature. I listen to This American Life on NPR. I've traveled abroad fairly extensively a...

Man Watching Cleopatra 2525 Has No Time To Read

NEWS IN BRIEF
MCALESTER, OK–Despite his great love of literature, Cleopatra 2525 viewer Kenneth Washburn doesn't have time to read, the 33-year-old McAlester resident reported Monday. "Sure, I'd love to curl up ...

Pyramid Scheme 'Not A Pyramid Scheme'

NEWS IN BRIEF
HARTFORD, CT–Despite its expansion-driven profit structure and multilevel-marketing format, the "Cash-4-All" pyramid scheme is not a pyramid scheme, electronically dispatched literature touting the...

Great Books Of Western Civilization Used To Accent Den

NEWS IN BRIEF
BETHESDA, MD–Beautiful, hand-tooled, leather-bound copies of the greatest works of Western literature "really spiffed up" the den of Elaine Gadsen Monday. "I just love the way the gold embossing on...

Morbidly Obese Man Recommends You Read The Hobbit

NEWS IN BRIEF
PHOENIX—Roy Cordell, a 475-pound science-fiction enthusiast, strongly recommends you read J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit, it was learned Monday. "You haven't read The Hobbit?" said Cordell, sweating p...

Maya Angelou Honored For Courage, Blackness

NEWS
ATLANTA—Citing her outstanding contribution to the field of literature written by African Americans, many of the nation's top cultural luminaries gathered at Morehouse College Monday to present aut...

Professor Deeply Hurt by Student's Evaluation

NEWS
Leon Rothberg, Ph.D., a 58-year-old professor of English Literature at Ohio State University, was shocked and saddened Monday after receiving a sub-par mid-semester evaluation from freshman student...