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Abortion Not Linked To Depression

AMERICAN VOICES
A literature review by the American Psychological Association states that women who have an abortion are not at greater risk for developing...

Great Books Of Western Civilization Used To Accent Den

NEWS IN BRIEF
BETHESDA, MD–Beautiful, hand-tooled, leather-bound copies of the greatest works of Western literature "really spiffed up" the den of Elaine Gadsen Monday. "I just love the way the gold embossing on...

'The Onion' Wins Nobel Prize

NEWS IN BRIEF
STOCKHOLM—American newspaper The Onion received a Nobel Prize this week in the category of Overall Excellence.

The Great Sports Books

SPORTSGRAPHIC
To mark the publication of The Ecstasy Of Defeat, The Onion takes a look at the proud tradition of sports literature.

Man Watching Cleopatra 2525 Has No Time To Read

NEWS IN BRIEF
MCALESTER, OK–Despite his great love of literature, Cleopatra 2525 viewer Kenneth Washburn doesn't have time to read, the 33-year-old McAlester resident reported Monday. "Sure, I'd love to curl up ...

Morbidly Obese Man Recommends You Read The Hobbit

NEWS IN BRIEF
PHOENIX—Roy Cordell, a 475-pound science-fiction enthusiast, strongly recommends you read J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit, it was learned Monday. "You haven't read The Hobbit?" said Cordell, sweating p...

Pyramid Scheme 'Not A Pyramid Scheme'

NEWS IN BRIEF
HARTFORD, CT–Despite its expansion-driven profit structure and multilevel-marketing format, the "Cash-4-All" pyramid scheme is not a pyramid scheme, electronically dispatched literature touting the...

Too Much Expected From Nap

NEWS IN BRIEF
NASHVILLE, TN—Vanderbilt University sophomore Derek Sellars drastically overestimated the mental clarity, physical replenishment, and...