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‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

SPORTS NEWS IN BRIEF
NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Nation Gets Really Tired All Of A Sudden

NEWS IN BRIEF
NEW YORK—According to numerous drowsy reports issued moments ago out of nowhere, the nation on Monday just got really tired all of a sudden.

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

SPORTS NEWS IN BRIEF
NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to comm...

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEWS IN BRIEF
NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking ...

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