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Website's Built-In Search Engine Just Pathetic

NEWS IN BRIEF
CHICAGO—Following several unsuccessful attempts to find a specific article on a national media website, readers confirmed Monday that the built-in search engine found in the upper-right-hand ...

Report: Nobody Fucking Cares

NEWS IN BRIEF
NEW YORK—According to a brief but conclusive report released Monday, nobody fucking cares. “Doesn’t fucking matter,” read the report in part, which went on to inform readers that no one gives two s...

Area Dad Needs More Time With Museum Plaque

NEWS IN BRIEF
NEW YORK—Leaning in close to the paragraph of text as his family continued on to the museum’s other exhibits, area dad and Frick Collection visitor Phillip Schermeier, 58, reportedly needed more ti...

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