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Showing 1 to 20 of 124 Total Results

Website's Built-In Search Engine Just Pathetic

NEWS IN BRIEF
CHICAGO—Following several unsuccessful attempts to find a specific article on a national media website, readers confirmed Monday that the built-in search engine found in the upper-right-hand ...

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

SPORTS NEWS
GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork...

Christ Does Soft Return To Gauge Interest

NEWS
TOPEKA, KS—Descending from on high to gather valuable data on His followers’ preferences, Jesus Christ, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, was said to be conducting a soft return this week in hop...

Christ Reluctantly Enters Area Man’s Heart

NEWS
OLATHE, KS—Despite numerous reservations and misgivings He harbored about the 33-year-old mortgage broker, Jesus Christ, the Son of God and Our Holy Savior, reportedly entered the heart of De...

Donnie

OBITUARIES
Donnie the cat had to be put to sleep Friday because, Jesus Christ, who has three grand for bladder stone removal?

Report: Come On, Carl, Pull It Together

Yes, Carl Mendel Of Dayton, Ohio, We Are Talking To You

NEWS
DAYTON, OH—Citing his general lack of direction and the fact that he once embraced life and actually had honest-to-God dreams, for Christ’s sake, a new report revealed Tuesday that, com...

Jesus, This Week

NEWS
WASHINGTON—Calling the last four days of American life just...I mean, talk about a goddamned punch in the gut, citizens across the nation confirmed today that, Jesus, this week. This fucking ...

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