Scalia Goes On Abortion Bender After Being Passed Over For Chief Justice
NORFOLK, VA—Saying "Fuck this shit, I'm stopping beating hearts with my bare hands," Justice Antonin Scalia, overlooked for the vacated position...
Bush Nominates First-Trimester Fetus To Supreme Court
WASHINGTON, DC—In a press conference Monday, President Bush named a 72-day-old gestating fetus as his nominee to fill the Supreme Court seat that opened ...
Recreational-Abortion Enthusiasts Applaud Repeal Of Partial-Birth Ban
WASHINGTON, DC—Hundreds of abortion enthusiasts gathered on the steps of the Supreme Court Monday to voice their support for recent rulings repealing the Partial-Birth ...
Supreme Court Agrees To Disagree On Abortion Issue
WASHINGTON, DC–After decades of divisive debate, the U.S. Supreme Court finally agreed to disagree Monday on the hot-button issue of abortion. "It is ...
Television Executive's Baby Cancelled In Development Stage
LOS ANGELES–Deeming the fetus "not viable at this time," ABC vice-president of programming Lew Schaffer pulled the plug Monday on his unborn child after ...
