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    ‘CC Sabathia Is Hurting Team,’ Report Yankees Trapped Beneath Pitcher

    NEW YORK—Claiming that the left-hander was inflicting significant damage to the team, Yankees sources trapped beneath CC Sabathia told reporters Friday that the pitcher ...

    Kevin Youkilis Takes Out Full-Page Ad In 'Juggs' To Thank All The Trim In Boston

    BOSTON—Former Red Sox infielder Kevin Youkilis took out a full-page advertisement in Juggs on Monday thanking "all the trim in Boston" for being "the ...

    David Ortiz Asks Kansas City Grounds Crew To Turn Off Stadium Lights So Teams Can See All The Stars

    KANSAS CITY—After the seventh-inning stretch of Tuesday night's MLB All-Star game, Boston Red Sox designated hitter David Ortiz spoke to several members of ...

    Dodgers Grounds Crew Places Tarp Over Unsightly Crowd

    LOS ANGELES—The Los Angeles Dodgers were forced to stop play Sunday against the Chicago White Sox to allow the grounds crew to come out ...

    Fussy J.J. Hardy Refuses To Stand On Nonorganic Dirt

    ATLANTA—Fussy Orioles shortstop J.J. Hardy defiantly refused to stand on the nonorganic dirt in Turner Field Friday, complaining to coaches and teammates that ...

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      Mr. Met Loses Joint Custody Of Son After Child Runs On Field During Game

    New Father Remembers Time When Baseball Wasn't So Goddamn Meaningful

    EDEN PRAIRIE, MN—While stressing that he loves his 6-month-old son Jordan "more than life itself" and that fatherhood is "a whole new world opening ...

    Kids Of Milwaukee Forced To Look Up To Ryan Braun On Technicality

    MILWAUKEE—Despite ample evidence pointing to elevated levels of testosterone in Ryan Braun's urine, the mishandling of the Brewers slugger's sample means the ...

    Angels Hoping They Can Get Mike Napoli Back Now That They Have Albert Pujols And C.J. Wilson To Trade

    ANAHEIM, CA—After spending $330 million on big-time free agents Albert Pujols and C.J. Wilson, Los Angeles Angels officials said Monday they now feel ...

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