Gay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second Thing

SUGAR LAND, TX—Shortly after reports surfaced today that the Boy Scouts of America had voted to lift its ban on gay youths, local homosexual ...

Kate Middleton Suffering From Morning Sickness

LONDON—Just two months away from Kate Middleton’s speculated July due date, sources close to the Royal Family confirmed today the pregnant Duchess of ...

Justin Bieber Recovering In Intensive Care Unit After Being Badly Booed

LAS VEGAS—Doctors at Valley Hospital Medical Center are reporting that pop sensation Justin Bieber is in critical but stable condition today after being admitted ...

Everyone Forgets To Bring Swimsuits To Coworker’s Party

'What Are The Odds?' Pasty, Flabby Colleagues Say

ARLINGTON, TX—While gathered for a party at a coworker’s backyard pool Saturday, out-of-shape colleagues at Shuster, Layne & Associates were struck by the coincidence ...

Call From Daycare Can't Be Good

HARRISBURG, PA—Speculating that the rest of her day will now definitely take a turn for the worse, local mother Nicole Mendlow confirmed Friday that ...

News in Photos
Gummi Bear Emerges From Digestive Tract Unharmed

Secretary Of Interior Takes Presidential Oath Of Office

'I Still Can't Believe The President, Vice President, Speaker Of The House, President Pro Tem, Sec. Of State, Sec. Of The Treasury, Sec. Of Defense, And Attorney General Were All In That Hot-Air Balloon,' Says New President Sally Jewell

WASHINGTON—Secretary of the Interior Sally Jewell was sworn in today as the 45th president of the United States, reciting the oath of office in ...

Article About One World Trade Center Building Includes Paragraph Explaining 9/11

NEW YORK—A news article published Tuesday about how One World Trade Center will soon become the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere contained a ...

Dzhokar Tsarnaev Finally Moves Off Campus

BOSTON—After living in residence halls during his first three semesters at the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth, sophomore student Dzhokar Tsarnaev was finally able to ...