Way Too Much Raised For Bronchitis Research
[media:60159]MINNEAPOLIS—The nonprofit organization Clean Airways announced Tuesday that it had raised the completely unnecessary sum of...
Son-Of-A-Bitch Mouse Solves Maze Researchers Spent Months Building
IOWA CITY, IA—The mouse briskly traversed the complicated wooden maze in under 30 seconds, roughly 1/8,789,258 the time it took to ...
Study: Use Of Phrase 'Don't Skimp On The' Linked To Heart Disease
DALLAS—According to a study published Monday by the American Heart Association, people who frequently start sentences with the phrase "don't...
Uninsured Man Hopes His Symptoms Diagnosed This Week On House
HAPEVILLE, GA—After being laid off last year from his door-fitting job at the local Ford Motor Company plant, uninsured 35-year-old Chris...
Overuse Of Enzyme-Based Cleaners May Be Causing Highly Resistant Superstains
CHICAGO—The American Association of Laundry Workers released a startling new report Thursday warning against the use of enzyme-based...
